where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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