it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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