My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
