i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
