I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
