Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
