Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
