Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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