do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
