Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
