Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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