she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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