God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
