Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
