The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
