did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
