You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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