We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
