i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
