Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
