I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
