I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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