saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
