oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
