I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
