I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
