its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
