i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
