"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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