either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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