he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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