Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
