and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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