i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
