I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
