Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
