everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
