Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
