Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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