u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
