ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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