I wish my penis had an off switch
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
