he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
