grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
