if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
