Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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