and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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