Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
