I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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