that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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