I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
